Bob Dobbs
The world did not create Bob, Bob created the world. Bob is in his 50's but appears to be in his 30's. Fit, attractive nothing seems to bother this man. He has lucid sexual dreams. Bob's an excellent ballroom dancer and with the verbal grace of a Lama, he's a true un-carved block. He levitates vacuum attachments, chants in 3 octaves and walks on water? Born from a troubled marriage this lotus flower grew from a swamp. He has earned a honorary degree as Master VacuMeister. Speaks 6 languages. This guy is sooo hard to read!

Beatrice Dobbs
Bea, 50's, has the face and posture of an angel. She understands Bob to the T. Bob and Bea are childless. Bea is the Goddess. Her intuition comes from a direct link to heaven.toll free! "Opra and Dr. Phil's advice is for the amateur and adolescent." She's fearless. Sex is not their thing (they tried it once) although they can't keep their hands off each other. They talk, walk and breathe sensuality. They are in constant admiration of each other. When they ballroom dance they appear as one. Their party talk exchange is uncanny. They are the envy of all couples but know one seems to know why?

Virgil Acheron
Virgil, Bob's father, is a quiet man with the voice of a Russian immigrant. He owns a car repair/towing service and works in a gray dank environment. Virgil chants Eliot and Thoreau to himself. He gives Bob the lesson in life that guides him to greatness. "Takes two to hold up the Heavens" "humans cannot bear reality"

Fourchette Perineum
Fourchette, (AKA Machete) has always hated her life and Virgil. Married Virgil to escape poverty and dreams of running away to a Hawaiian island with a hunk. When the Vac salesman appears. He and Fourchette disappear. Hyper-sexual and flirtatious, Fourchette creates a dream world of slack guitar, orange mood light bulbs, floral prints (wears a plastic lea), and sips tropical cocktails. She refuses to sleep with Virgil or to allow him in the house."he's filthy." Bob is in constantly tormented by his mother."you get to god damn Sunday school you little shit."

Divine Vacuum Salesman
Fourchette seduces this slim bag. He reeks of cheap cologne and delivers sleazy sales lines. Bob witnesses the sexual encounter. Bob enraged, secretly sucks the salesman in to a Divine Vacuum and there holds him a prisoner. Torturing him in a dusty, nauseating, spinning vortex. Hell according to Bob.

Limbo
The Old Woman Veronica is a Hungarian immigrant who believes in the afterlife. She is awaiting the arrival of the Father ship to transport her and her fellow Parasitoids’ to the Motherland.

Incontinence
Bill Every 60 is a control freak. Semi-social. Speaks little with extreme care. His poor little mind is in constant chatter. Daily rituals. There is order but it must be created. Bill spends his days attempting to create perfection in his life but when he fails he punishes himself with physical abuse. Most of his dialog comes from inside his cluttered mind

Violence
Viola and Skip 40's have been married, separated, divorced 13 times. Domestic violence is their vice. They both get Xmas cards for their opposing attorneys. All 13 pairs of them. Their children were removed by DHS at the tender age of 3, 5, 7 & 9 and never seen again. The Domestic violence has soften due to age but their addiction to this demented relationship grows.

Fraud
Bobby Boxhead 32 is a retard. So they said in high school. Bobby got a degree in physics at UC Berkeley and a settlement from the government for radiation poisoning while working at the Lawrence Livermore Lab and left Bobby impotent. Bobby now counterfeits baseball cards with an Epsin 2000 printer and sells them on Ebay. He is saving for a penile implant. In the mean time he wears a stuffed sock in his pants. Surfs Internet for Asian brides.

Lustful
Shirley Humpston 30's has an overactive clitoris.so they say. She can't keep her hands off it. She wears wrist braces. She is an introvert, overweight, manic depressant and rarely leaves the house. Her first and only sexual experience was with Ray her unlicensed therapist. She has eyes for Bobby.

Avaricious
John Smuckski and Janis Scandalous 50's worked the Hawaiian Time Share circuit during its heyday. Both dreamed of wealth schemes that never materialized. Janis is secretary and John president of the Hell Gate Community. John is an avid viewer of pro wrestling, Gluteus Maximus his favorite wrestler. John and Arthur plot to oust Bob and Bea.

Prodigal
Bill and Alice Blessed 60’s are food storage junkies. They secretly make several trips a week to the local food banks, using several SS#, and bring home boxes of booty. Most ends up in the trash. Food is categorized by expiration date. They are underweight, sullen, listless and vomit after meals.

Gluttonous
Mac Little 60 is overweight and has eaten himself into a stupor. TV tables containing a variety of junk food surround Mac's chair. He is diabetic and has death in his eyes. The Blesseds' provide Mac with his fix.

Wrathful
Arthur P Ellis 40, a very distant relative of the Ellis Brooks Chevrolet family. Dreamed of inheriting wealth. Never received a penny. Arthur drives a Ford. Arthur is responsible for the vandalism occurring at the Dobbs' residence.